Seeping Matter

Yesterday we had about a foot and a half of snow at my house in Spanish Fork.  Since they (uncharacteristically) closed the schools, the snowplows didn’t plow the secondary streets like ours.  I spent many hours of the day digging myself and my neighbors out so we could get cars into the street and downtown.

Today the snowplows came by to clear the street that did not need to be cleared anymore.  This was the result:

Snow Boulder

I have a hard time seeing how anyone could think this was helping.  Next time, Spanish Fork Snowplow-Person, if this is how you are going to “help”, don’t bother.

(Tagged “humor”, because I’m sure it will be funny someday.)

Blogging is an interesting thing.  It’s interesting to throw an idea out into the ether and see if anyone has anything to say about it.

When people have something to say, I use that to gauge how well I did at communicating my point of view.  For my previous post, “Outside the In-Crowd”, I can tell from the response that I didn’t do a very good job communicating.  For the record, I want to make it clear that I really do appreciate the responses and the care behind them.  That means a lot to me.  The fact that I didn’t convey my message well is not your fault and it doesn’t make your comments less meaningful.

When I wrote that blog post, I was trying to convey a simple realization that I’d had.  It’s a twofold realization.

The first, er, fold, is as follows:  One of two things happens when you put a group of people together.  Either the group will generally concede to be accepting and interested in everyone, or some subset of the group will work together to elevate themselves by pushing the others down.  I don’t think this is necessarily done consciously or vindictively.  It just IS.

The second part is:  When a subset of the group bands together to elevate itself, the remaining members of the group have an interesting choice.  Being a majority, they can ignore the group trying to elevate itself and choose to be accepting and interested in everyone.  Taking this path disempowers the smaller group trying to elevate itself.  Ironically, most individuals in the majority support the smaller group by trying to get themselves into that group.  This is done by, in turn, pushing down other people.

This happens in junior high and high school, but I found it interesting to note that it doesn’t just happen there.  That’s simply a common thread I used to try to help make the point.

The general reaction I’ve had to this is basically this (okay, I’m exaggerating slightly):  Matt!  Why are you saying this?  I liked you in high school!  I know for a fact that at least some other people did as well!  Just because you could never get a date doesn’t mean you are a loser!  PLEASE DO NOT KILL YOURSELF!!!!!

To which I express my gratitude.  I appreciate your friendship.  My point is, I didn’t write the blog post because I’m insecure about whether I was popular in high school.  I don’t really care about that.  There are, however, a couple of things that I am concerned about:

• I don’t care about popularity in high school now (sheesh, that was, uh, more than 5 years ago), but I did then.  I’m ashamed to admit it but it’s true.  And I fear that I was one of those people on the outside trying to get in by pushing other people down.  I really do worry about this.  I fear and regret what I might have been like and hope I’ve changed.
• Even though I’m older now, and my friends and acquaintances are older now, I’m still seeing this and have been seeing it ever since.  I just now figured out how to make sense of it.  So my concern now is, now that I understand it and can quantify it, am I really changing?  Am I supporting the in-crowds by pushing down others around me in order to conform to the ideals of the in-crowds?  Or am I creating the ideal I would rather have, where people are generally accepting and interested in everyone else?  Do I still care about being accepted by the in-crowd?

See, the thing is, regardless of the context (high school, work, church, etc.), the nature of the in-crowd is the same.  And the appeal of in-crowd membership is entirely dependent on context.  Remove the context, and the appeal is gone.

It’s my hope that we will see this for what it is and disempower the in-crowds around us by simply refusing to give them the support they need from us to survive.  It’s my hope that we will instead work to be accepting and interested in others.  Hey, in a way it is a form of civil disobedience.  Cater to your rebel spirit!  Take a look around you and assess yourself.  I’ll be interested to hear what you have to say.

If you are like me, I’m sorry.

I’m sorry because that means your life in high school was the pits.  Of course, if you are like me, then college was excellent and you have a pretty great life now, so I take it back.  I’m not sorry.

Probably every high school has this in-crowd of the cool people.  Only a few people get to be a part of this in-crowd.  Everyone else is outside looking in.  Some people get to a point where they realize they are not going to be a part of that crowd and go on with life.  Others try to figure out how to get into that crowd, in vain, because, hey, you are not cool like the in-crowd.

It isn’t until later that many of these people look back objectively and realize, what was so great about the in-crowd?  And who decided they were cool anyway?  The in-crowd did!  They decided they were cool and created rules to keep themselves that way.  Oddly, those on the outside looking in supported the rules and preserved the image, spiting themselves in the process.

After they get away from the immediate situation and gain additional perspective and context (for example, going to college), they realize how dumb this was.  In high school being cool is about being another boring clone of sameness of the self-proclaimed “cool” people, whereas in college it is entirely different.  In college, it is about being unique, interesting, and friendly, showing concern for and interest in others, and being true to yourself.

Additionally, once you spend some time away from high school, you start to see the other “cool” kids for who they really are, and you realize that some of them are really not that cool or interesting at all.  It was all just a façade, supported by the immediate context.  Once the context changes, the façade disappears.  And it doesn’t bother you that you weren’t part of the in-crowd back then.

So here’s the question:

What about the organizations you are involved in today?  Does your employment resemble high school or college?  What about your church, or your neighborhood?

For example, how do you get to be one of the in-crowd at your job?  What does it take to be cool?  Are you considered cool because of your unique talents, because of your interesting perspective, because you are a valuable, concerned team member?  Or do you have to conform and be just like the other cool kids to also be cool?

If your job, or any other organization you belong to, resembles high school, maybe you need a change of context.  If you look at this in-crowd from a different, distanced, more objective point of view, maybe they won’t all seem as cool as they do from the work context.  Maybe not being part of the in-crowd won’t be such a big deal.

It’s that most wonderful time of the year again — time for the NCAA Football bowl games to begin.

As many of my long-time readers know (if there are any), for as long as I can remember I’ve been doing annual bowl picks (where “as long as I can remember” means “at least one other time”).  Last year I tried picking every single bowl.  I am not going to do that this year.  Also, last year a friend who personally did not do any picks pointed out that my ratio was only slightly better than random.  I reserve the right to adjust my picks between now and, say, a month from now, in 1984-style, if necessary to preserve a better-than-random ratio.

Now, on to the picks:

• New Mexico Bowl — BYU vs. UTEP: Let’s face it:  BYU should not even be playing in a bowl game this year.  They lost a game to overrated Utah that they should have won (admittedly, with some help), and got completely creamed by 4-8 USU.  It just seems wrong that mediocre teams even get to play in a bowl game at all.
  • My Pick:  UTEP out of spite.
• Las Vegas Bowl — Utah vs. Boise State: Boise State gets the trophy for “we got ripped off the most of anyone this whole year.”  This is not even a close contest.  (And to think:  me and my buddies nearly bought tickets to this game, but one of us couldn’t go, and the rest didn’t fret much because, I mean, is Utah really gonna play anyone GOOD???  Dang.)
  • My Pick:  Boise State in a complete blowout.
• Insight Bowl — Missouri vs. Iowa: Missouri only lost two games this year to tough opponents, and beat this year’s Big XII champ Oklahoma who was ranked #1 at the time.  Iowa… also ran in the Big 10.
  • My Pick:  Missouri.
• Alamo Bowl — Oklahoma State vs. Arizona: Similar theme as the Insight Bowl.  Oklahoma State only lost the Big XII south due to voter prejudice.  Besides, PAC-10 also-rans are generally not a strong pick for bowl game wins.
  • My Pick:  Oklahoma State.
• Holiday Bowl — Nebraska vs. Washington: Washington really should stay home from this one.  It is going to ruin their holiday break.  Jake Locker, the most overrated quarterback in the country, cannot save them.
  • My Pick:  Nebraska.
• Liberty Bowl — Georgia vs. Central Florida: This is a tougher pick.  Georgia has the poorer schedule, but outside a squeaker loss at Colorado, all of their defeats came at the hands of teams that either are ranked or were ranked at some time during the year.  UCF?  Not so much.
  • My Pick:  Georgia. But if not, Mark Richt might be looking for a new job.
• Chick-Fil-A Bowl — South Carolina vs. Florida State: Another tough one, but I think South Carolina has the tougher team.  Stephen Garcia is a fighter.
  • My Pick:  South Carolina.
• Outback Bowl — Florida vs. Penn State: Florida’s current strategy of “why have only one quarterback when you can have three???” just isn’t working.  I like Florida but it isn’t their year.
  • My Pick:  Penn State. I think.
• Capital One Bowl — Alabama vs. Michigan State: Alabama is a strong team, but have not fared well against good offenses this year.  Michigan State has a good offense.
  • My Pick:  Michigan State.
• Gator Bowl — Mississippi State vs. Michigan: Michigan went 3-5 in the Big 10; Mississippi State was one of five nationally ranked teams in the SEC West.
  • My Pick:  Mississippi State.
• Rose Bowl — Wisconsin vs. TCU: Wow, this one is gonna be a great football game.  Wisconsin might have the most underrated offense in the country, averaging over 43 points per game this year, including a pasting of 83 on Indiana and 70 on both Austin Peay and Northwestern.  But, outside of Hawaii, BCS busters have a pretty good record against BCS teams in bowl games.
  • My Pick:  TCU.
• Fiesta Bowl — UConn vs. Oklahoma: Oklahoma is the Big XII champion, UConn is… from the Big East.  (Aside:  THIS is the game we ended up getting tickets to instead; I’m pretty stoked.)
  • My Pick:  Oklahoma.
• Orange Bowl — Stanford vs. Virginia Tech: Another tough pick.  After a slow start, VT walked through the ACC to earn the Orange Bowl berth.  The Cardinal lost only once, to Oregon.  I think VT’s loss to James Madison was just a lapse; so do all the Boise State fans.
  • My Pick:  Virginia Tech.
• Sugar Bowl — Ohio State vs. Arkansas: If I have to see another victory interview with Jim Tressell in his ridiculous sweater-vest, I think I will either puke or be forced to break my television.
  • My Pick:  Arkansas (oh, please, let it be Arkansas)
• Cotton Bowl — LSU vs. Texas A&M: If I have to see another victory interview with Les Miles in his ridiculous baseball cap, I think I will either puke or be forced to break my television.  Twice.
  • My Pick:  Texas A&M.
• National Championship — Oregon vs. Auburn: DO NOT miss this game, it should be great.  Especially if Auburn wins.  War Eagle!
  • My Pick:  Auburn Tigers, the 2010 NCAA Champions. Ooh, I like the sound of that.
• Toilet Bowl — San Jose State vs. North Dakota Culinary & Drama College: USU has been a staple at the Toilet Bowl, but with USU clearly the best team in Utah, it just wouldn’t seem right for them to get a Toilet Bowl invite.  The bowl committee tried for BYU instead, but they got invited to the New Mexico Bowl instead, due largely to their optimistic fan base.  So the bowl committee had to settle for the worst Division 1 team in the country.
  • My Pick:  ND C&D will wipe their booties with SJSU (pun intended).