Seeping Matter

Ah, MLMs. Golden opportunities for average joes like you and me to work like crazy to make other people rich. But other than that, not much at all like a legitimate business.

The curse of Mozy is to rent office space next door to an MLM company. Granted, this is not too difficult in Utah County, MLM capital of the world. Still, it makes one wonder what evil the founder may have done for Mozy to be cursed so.

Us on the bottom floor of the new Mozy building have the distinct privilege of sharing the floor with an MLM company, whose name will be withheld here synergistically to protect them, where “privilege” is like unto the privilege that Braveheart experienced to be disemboweled in public as penitence for his sin of wanting to be left alone, much like us.

MLMs are built upon the premise of getting rich without having to do anything. Everything is about appearance and affluence with MLMs. As I type we’ve got people pulling up in their rented black Mercedes or BMW to come in to yet another open house and try to impress each other. These guys act like they own the whole building, because that is part of the image they are trying to put forth. They are right this moment holding yet another open house which consumes the entire main entrance and main entrance foyer. This is done without any announcement, let alone request for permission, to the other tenants in the building – certainly not those of us on the main floor who share the foyer, entryway, elevators and bathroom. In fact, they are the smallest tenant in the building, but they act like they own the whole thing.

So it is really no surprise, especially to those familiar with Mozy culture, that someone finally had enough the other day and posted a little 8 1/2 x 11 picture comparing regular MLM-style magic juice with “Mozy juice” in such manner that the people across the hall could read it, if they walked up close enough. It is true that the sign made reference to magic juice, special berries picked by monk children high in the mountains in the early morning, and pyramid schemes in general. It did not mention our neighbors by name or necessarily even imply that they were related at all.
Actually the sign is pretty funny.

So I walk out the door for the purpose of conducting natural personal waste removal, and I’m accosted by a representative of said neighbor, demanding in polite tone that I take the sign down. So from here on, I’m going to describe the confrontation, which proves that we are jerks, although I do freely admit that I may be making some of this up.

Neighbor Enraged, Requiring Discipline: Hey, I’d like you to please take that sign down, it is offensive.
Me: What sign?
NERD: (pointing to the sign) That sign you guys posted attacking our company. It is disrespectful and offensive. I don’t know why you would put something like that up, and I would like you to take it down.
Me: Well, I wasn’t even aware that the sign was there until just now. I don’t even know what it says.
NERD: It is offensive to our company. I would take it down myself, but I can’t because it is taped on the other side of a window and the door is locked.
Me: So, if the door wasn’t locked, you would just walk into our part of the building and take it down? You believe that if the sign is offensive that gives you the right to walk into our part of the building, where we are creating and discussing trade secrets and intellectual property, and take the sign down because you don’t like it?
NERD: Well, I would just like you to take it down.
Me: You have a pretty big display of stuff inside your office doors. Some of those displays might be offensive to me. Should I just walk in there and take down whatever offends me also?
NERD: No. Alright. I wouldn’t just walk into your part of the building. Will you take the sign down please?
Me: Well, I didn’t put the sign up. It would be presumptuous of me to assume I can just take it down without consulting with whomever put it up in the first place.
NERD: You mean you can’t just take it down?
Me: No. I can communicate your temper tantrum within the company and see if whomever put it up wants to remove it.
NERD: I don’t see why you can’t just remove it. It’s disrespectful.
Me: You know what is disrespectful? You guys, holding your big open houses in the foyer of the building all the time. You invite people in, you take over the entryway and the entire lobby, which are all public areas of the building, but you treat them like they belong only to you. You make it so we don’t feel comfortable even using our own restroom or walking out our own front door.
NERD: Well, I’m really sorry we do that.
Me: No offense, but you are apologizing as a part of trying to get me to do you a favor. I have no way of knowing whether you really mean it or not.
NERD: I still don’t understand why you won’t just take the sign down.
Me: For reasons that I cannot explain and are really none of your business anyway, I’m not at liberty to just take down a sign that I didn’t put up.
NERD: But that sign is offensive!
Me: That’s an opinion. What about the sign exactly is offensive to you?
NERD: Well, it is making fun of our product.
Me: (reading briefly) It says here it is talking about “magic juice.”
NERD: Yes, exactly.
Me: Do you sell magic juice?
NERD: No! Calling it “magic” is derogatory. We sell fruit-juice for health-conscious individuals that conveys special healing powers.
Me: How much is this juice?
NERD: $42.25 per bottle.
Me: So, your juice is not magic juice?
NERD: No!
Me: Okay. So it sounds to me like you charge over $40 for regular fruit juice, and that this sign doesn’t apply to you. This sign is talking about magic juice. But you just sell atrociously expensive regular juice.
NERD: Um..
Me: Right?
NERD: Well, there’s a phrase in that sign that talks about pyramid schemes designed to prey upon the naive and greedy.
Me: So?
NERD: That offends me.
Me: Is your business a pyramid scheme that preys upon the naive and greedy?
NERD: That’s beside the point.
Me: No, it is the point. Either that phrase describes your business factually, or it doesn’t describe you at all. Either way, you should not be offended.
NERD: Well, it IS offensive!
Me: Look, a statement saying that pyramid schemes prey upon the naive and greedy is a fact. it is like someone telling me, “Matt, your hair is going gray.” That is a fact. There’s no reason to be offended by that. If someone were to tell me, “Matt, your hair is turning pink,” that also is not offensive, because it is not true. Either way, it’s not offensive.
NERD: But…
Me: I think what you find “offensive” is not really offensive, but disconcerting. You’re afraid the naive and greedy people that come in here to do business with you will find out the truth about your business. You’re afraid they will find out they have been deceived, and that in fact the whole business model is based upon deceiving people.
NERD: (threatening) Now look here. You’d better get in there and take down that sign, or…

Just then, as he started vigorously towards me, I snapped my fingers. Around the corner walked a half-dozen large, smelly, long-haired guys dressed in black slacks, black shoes, white socks, and black Apple t-shirts. Yes – the Black Ponytails. Mice and keyboards started flailing about as the severe beatings began.

Suffice it to say, I thought we had an understanding. The broken tiles in the foyer were replaced this morning. Yet, today another open-house was held in the foyer. I may need to call those friends of mine again…

EMC has created a new subsidiary company, named Decho. The new company was created from Mozy and Pi, so I’m a part of this new company. The name “decho” is derived from “digital echo,” referring to your cloud-stored data as “your digital echo” in the cloud. Decho is a cloud-computing company.

So, Matt. What do you think of the new name?

Decho should be a really fun new venture. The competition is formidable – Google, Microsoft, Amazon, IBM, Apple – in fact, formidable is a bit of an understatement. But I do really believe that there is a market for a platform-neutral cloud computing solution that makes its money by keeping your data safe, secure, available, and private, and not by mining your data for other profit ventures.
I’m on the Decho train. I’ve done this ride before, and I have no reason to think anything other than that this will be at least as successful as the last fully-owned-subsidiary-spinout company I was a part of before in my career, named Volera.

Yes. What about the name?

Well, Mozy is already a very successful product. We have over 1 million customers, as I understand it, and we’re continuing to grow.

Alright, but let’s talk about Decho. What about the new name?

Yes, Mozy is a great place to work. We’re in a brand new building, there are many very cool people there, and even Alen Peacock works there. We have our own Rock Band setup on a high-definition TV in the breakroom, which is generally stocked with a variety of snacks. And it is great to work on a product that you know is being used by people all over the world – and should be used by pretty much everyone.

The name! What about the name?

Mozy’s technology is truly incredible. The backups happen pretty much automatically. The data is stored in a very safe and very secure fashion. You get unlimited backup for only $4.95 a month. What’s not to like?

I’m asking about the name. What do you think of the name?

I really like the name. Mozy is a nice, short word, that means nothing, is hard to pronounce wrong, and just eminates the awesome. I’m totally on board the Decho train.

Not the Mozy name. The Decho name. What is your opinion of the name?

Err, what? What was that? Uh … ok, sorry, I have to go now.

I am obviously the smartest and most socially competent person I know, but that is not nearly so easy as one might think.  I’m constantly concerned about making sure that I am fulfilling my responsibility to society – giving back by helping people to realize how ignorant they are, pointing out their flaws and foolishness to motivate them to become somewhat normal.  Problem is, despite my towering intellect, I’m not always sure of the best course of action in certain situations.

I’ve been meaning to blog about a trip I took to India a few months ago, and I finally decided, “Matt, just get that sucker done.”

My employer sent me to Bangalore, India for a week at the start of the summer on a training engagement. Whether we should have gone is not really the subject of this blog. I know it was really expensive.

I remember the day my boss came to ask me to go. I suspected I would be asked to go, since I am the newest member of the team (and the least important). Most everyone else had already been to India before, and of those of us that hadn’t, some were already booked to go to China the week prior to my trip. The ones that had already been weren’t too keen on going again, and since they are more important, they could make me go instead. If you think I’m being mean to the people of India, I’m not – read on and you will understand.

Here are some of the things you have to deal with in order to take a trip to India.

1. US Passport. Apparently, this is to convince the United States that they can let you leave. I don’t quite get that. But I do know that if your employer is short-sighted enough as to not really plan well for your international voyage, it will cost somewhere around $185 to get a passport in a timely fashion (like, about 1 week).
2. Indian Visa. This is where you try to convince India that, since the United States is convinced that they don’t care whether you leave, India should be happy to take you.
3. Shots. I had shots for diptheria, tetanus, hepatitis, polio, etc. I can’t remember them all. I am still having follow-up shots. One has to ask, how is it that the Indian people seem to survive just fine, but us Westerners have to get completely medicated in order to survive? My guess is, they are tougher than we are.
4. Medication. I had to get some anti-malarial horse pills, along with a prescription to Ambien to try to help me adjust to the time change (more on this failed experiment later).
5. Entertainment. I bought a 30Gb Creative Zen Vision M just for the occasion – and I used it, buster.

I was starting to understand why people don’t want to go to India. Then the travel began, and I really started to understand.
India is a long ways away. I know you know that, but if you’ve never gone that far you don’t quite get it. It is so far away, in fact, that if you go any farther you are coming closer to home.

Here is how the trip to India went:

• Fly from Salt Lake City to Cincinnati. Actually, we had the choice of Cincinnati, New York, Newark, Atlanta, etc. It doesn’t really matter. This is an inconsequential portion of the trip.
• Fly from Cincinnati (or wherever) to Charles de Gaulle Airport in Paris. Try to sleep, since it is nighttime in India, even though it is just the afternoon in Salt Lake City. Take an Ambien, wake up four hours later, and feel groggy for four more.
• Oh, by the way – if you ever have to fly through Charles de Gaulle, DON’T. What a nightmare.
• When you land in Paris, you are just over halfway there!
• Fly from Paris to Bangalore. Try to stay awake since it is daytime in India. Suffer from lack of thirst. Resolve to take bottles of water in your carry-on luggage next time (and then, months later, wonder if you will be able to due to new flight regulations and the potentially explosive properties of water).
• Land in Bangalore – and be amazed.

Truly amazed. Not repulsed. Not shocked. Amazed.

Don’t get me wrong. Bangalore is not really all that much like Provo, Utah. For one thing, Bangalore has much fewer Suburbans, Excursions, and 12-passenger vans. Bangalore also has many more auto-rickshaws than Provo. Also more motorcycles – but most of them are smaller and less powerful than even my Kawasaki KX 250. Traffic is insane. Traffic laws seem to be more like guidelines or suggestions. People are everywhere, even in the middle of the night.

You may ask, is it dirty in India? Yes, it is. But it is also very beautiful. Sorry, you will have to go there to see what I mean.

We checked into Le Meridien, which is highly recommended, if you can afford around $300 per night. I hooked up my laptop and called my family via Skype. They asked why I waited so long, and I explained to them that I had just barely arrived (some 30 hours later).
I then tried to sleep. I learned the hard way that my antimalarial medication has a side effect of keeping you awake. So instead of my Ambien keeping me blissfully asleep for 8 hours, it had the effect of causing me to sleep for around 3 hours, and then I would be groggy for the remainder.

This is how most of the trip went for me. I was always tired during the day. Horrifically tired. Taking microsleeps in class, unintentionally, when I wasn’t doing the training. Then nighttime would come and I would struggle to get any sleep. By Thursday I had completely given up on trying to adjust my schedule and was just trying to get sleep whenever I could.

So far the trip sounds mostly like torture. It wasn’t. It was one of the most amazing experiences I have ever had. I would not trade it for anything.
The singular biggest reason for this is the people. The people of India are simply great people. I could not believe how polite, friendly, and kind they were. This was true with hotel staff, restaurant staff, people in the training sessions, taxi drivers, shop employees – they were all very helpful and polite.
Of course, some readers would say that these people were all like this because I was their customer. This is not an untrue statement. However, I have also been the customer of similar people in the United States – I’ve stayed at hotels, gone to restaurants, ridden in taxis, etc. Rarely do I get this kind of service here.

I also got some great mementos. I picked up some jewelry for my wife – true amber jewelry along with star sapphires – some knick-knacks for my kids, and a hand-carved sandalwood chess set for myself. I will probably never play chess with it. It is great to look at.
I’m well aware of the concept of negotiating price in India. I saw hand-tied silk rugs that I could buy for $200. I was told that they take three months for one person to create. I did not take economics in college, but I’m no idiot. I know that you can’t have a business if you pay your employees more than you bring in revenue-wise. So I know that person who ties those rugs is making less than $800 a year. Considering the amount of money I make, I simply lost the heart to negotiate price. I felt I shouldn’t do that when I’ve been given so much.

I can’t explain what an awesome experience it was to go there. I will never forget it – ever. The people were amazing to meet.

And the travel is the absolute pits. I am a large man – 6’2″ and about 215 pounds. Not enormous, but large. I’m not really fat either. I mean, I have some extra insulation in certain regions, but mostly I’m just broad-shouldered and big. Cramming me into coach is simply inhumane. I was shoved into a seat against the side of the plane all the way from Paris to Los Angeles on the way back. The only thing more uncomfortable than sitting there was trying to get out. I had literally no legroom – my knee was crammed up against the seat in front of me. I stayed there, getting warmer, getting smellier, starving to death because they are feeding me this crappy French food.

Being in India was an experience I will never forget. I will always be grateful for that opportunity. Travelling to and from India was also an experience I will never forget. It was torture.
Overall, my trip to India was an unforgettable experience that I will always be grateful to have had, and one I don’t look forward to repeating. At least not in coach.

Just because you are smart doesn’t mean you will be rich – and just because you are stupid doesn’t mean you can’t be rich. As evidence we need look no farther than this article which tells how Ben Roethlisberger recently crashed while riding his 2005 Suzuki Hayabusa. Without a helmet.

Riding a motorcycle without a helmet is stupid.

This story hits home to me because my father, who is smart but not rich, was also recently injured in a motorcycle accident. My father has been riding motorcycles for over forty years. I have never known him to be injured in any way in a motorcycle accident prior to this one. In fact, I don’t think he’s ever even received a traffic citation during all of that time.

He was taking a corner on a highway at a very reasonable 25 miles per hour. Who knows exactly what happened next. Apparently, the front tire lost traction as the bike high-sided and threw my dad into the rocks that were piled next to the side of the highway.

Here’s what happened:

• Broken right ulna near the wrist, and multiple fractures to right radius near the wrist, requiring surgical repair
• Broken left humerus and severely dislocated left elbow with ligament and tendon damage, requiring surgical repair
• Broken left tibia and fibula beneath the knee, and torn left patellar tendon, requiring surgical repair
• Broken left ankle in multiple locations, requiring surgical repair
• Burst fracture to fourth thoracic vertebra, which has not required surgical repair – yet

He is in the midst of a two-month stint of laying on his back, waiting for the bones to heal, and meanwhile not ever getting up – EVER.

Here’s what didn’t happen: He didn’t die. He didn’t split his head open and die. Because he’s not stupid.

For those of you that are stupid: Can you see the scratches on this helmet here? The impact cut entire sections out of the shell. Some of those scratches, like those more horizontal ones on the side, are about 1/8 of an inch deep. The impact was so hard, it burst the face shield completely off the helmet.

I love this helmet. Without this helmet, my dad would now be dead.

If you are stupid, like Ben Roethlisberger, it is time for you to wise up. You might be a great rider. Unfortunately, it isn’t always about you. You might be riding properly until you get cut off by some idiot driver in an SUV. Or you might be involved in some freak accident, high-siding into the rocks unexpectedly while going carefully around a corner at only 25 miles per hour. Don’t be stupid.

I have felt for some time now that employment is at best a tenuous existence in terms of providing for one’s future. I feel this is so because I believe that corporate America has forsaken the employees, those who built the corporations, in favor of their own profit, and have therefore become too self-centered and too unethical.

This is because they not only think only about how they can get ahead, whether or not at the expense of other corporations or people around them, but they do this based upon the labor of others which they, as a whole, do not pay fairly for. (Notice that payment here is not always monetary although it often is.) They tend toward demanding more and more time, effort, intellect, vision, insight, and loyalty without returning in kind. For example, it is self-centered and unethical of a corporation to hire an employee to complete certain responsibilities, then to assign additional responsibilities on top of those previously agreed to, and yet to pay the same in money, benefits, recognition, and opportunity. This becomes a problem further in the United States today because corporations have a much better chance at getting the government to pass laws in their favor than private citizens do – they simply have more money to make it happen.

This problem becomes magnified in corporations that leverage knowledge, information, goods, or services that are provided to them from external sources under “gentleman’s agreement” terms of non-monetary payment in some other means. One example of this is software companies that improperly use open source software. Note, there is nothing wrong with companies making money off of open source if they are able to do so. But since many corporations have the tendency to fail to pay fairly for things they receive, it is likely that they will continue this practice with something like open source, for example, taking credit for work they do not do.

How long will this system last before corporations become so greedy that they erode the foundations of society that support them? We are on this road today and that future is not necessarily far off.

It is sad to admit that, more and more, I’m starting to approach the holiday season with feelings that are a mixture of anticipation, joy, dread, irritation, and frustration.
The anticipation and joy come from having time with family and remembering the birth, life, and atonement of Jesus Christ. It is certainly helpful to make a special effort every year to be more focused on remembering His coming, and to look forward to when he comes again.

The other feelings come from the fact that people are forgetting why we have Christmas in the first place.

First, the commercialism of Christmas has gotten out of control. We’ve gotten to the point that it doesn’t matter what we get for Christmas as long as we get more of it than someone else. I have family that insist on buying me a gift of a certain price point even when I tell them that I don’t need anything. What is the point of spending the money? I create a budget and budget for Christmas all year long, and then when the time comes to buy, I feel that I must spend the entire budget even if it is on junk that the recipient won’t really want.
This is one part of this season that I’m starting to dread – the complete waste of money. Money spent on things that will become the recipient’s trash before summertime comes around. It has become a season where people save all year so they can come before the big businesses and trade their money in for junk. What is wrong with us?

I am starting to despise the calculated messages in the media that are trying to cause us to forget why we have these holidays in the first place. These messages are even being taught to children. They tell us not to forget the reason for the season, at which point they inform us that the reason for the season is to be with friends and family, or to be kinder to our fellow men, or to marvel in the wonder of lights and decorations. They pitch the “hustle & bustle” of the holidays as exciting and fun, not irritating. I’ve even heard some of these messages suggest that the reason for the season is to receive gifts!
The reason for this season is entirely religious. I don’t care whether you are Christian or not. If you believe in Thor the thunder god, and celebrate him on August 10 (or whatever), just because I don’t believe in Thor doesn’t change the reason why you might celebrate on August 10. The reason for Christmas is to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. It does not matter whether you believe in him or not. It is a flat-out lie to suggest that the reason for Christmas is anything else, no matter how ennobling.

I’m frustrated because I want this to be a religious occasion. I’m upset that I worry about how many gifts a person is giving me, and that I have to give them the same number of gifts back, and for a similar monetary amount, even if the gifts are junk. It feels like it isn’t enough to give for the sake of giving. It feels like if I’m not giving my significant other a diamond ring or a new car I’m under-gifting. I hate that I feel like I work all year long to blow money on junk at the end of the year. And for what? Just so recipients can feel that I care – but not because of what I gave, but because of how much I gave and how much I spent.

I don’t know what to do about this exactly, but I don’t like it, and I feel justified in not liking it. I may do something drastic next year – like cut my Christmas budget.

On my way to work today I realized I had severely torn my black leather jacket. This is not good at all.

A leather jacket is a key element of the half bad boy. If I don’t have a leather jacket, will my wife still find me attractive? Will I be able to successfully convey that critical amount of badness? I may have to stop shaving so often in order to compensate.

I am actually bummed about this. A few years ago I made a suggestion for a new initiative to my employer that turned into Novell Forge. It was key in my employer’s attempt to reinvent itself as an open-source software company, which reinvention was worth about a 50% increase in our market cap, or about $1B. And to compensate me for my key role in this major change, they gave me a leather jacket.

Admittedly, I think my employer got the better end of the deal, but I do love that jacket so it really is quite a bummer that it is now suffering from a pretty substantial tear.

I might actually be forced to go out and buy my own jacket.