Seeping Matter

My son Derrick has been asking me for years to take him to Las Vegas to see a NASCAR race there.  Since next year is the first year of F1 at Austin, Texas, I figured this would be my last chance, since from now on I will be using all the goodwill I can muster to earn the right to go to the F1 in Texas.  So Saturday afternoon Derrick and I headed south on I-15 to see the NASCAR race at Las Vegas Motor Speedway.

I drove my 350Z.  I was excited to take it on a road trip anyway, but ironically the primary reason I took it is because it is the most fuel efficient vehicle I own.  (Sad but true.)  Knowing the temptation it would be to attack those open roads at high speeds, I decided not to speed at all and just set my speedometer at the speed limit and followed this strategy throughout the whole trip.

At about ten miles north of Beaver, Utah, I was cruising along at 80 mph in an 80 mph zone, in the right lane, just slightly catching a red 4-door sedan that was maybe 100 yards or so in front of me, maybe at a rate of one mile per hour faster than the red vehicle ahead.  Further ahead of us was a large semi.  We began heading up a hill and I could see that I was moving slightly faster than the traffic ahead, so I moved to the left lane of the two-lane freeway.  I could also see, however, that the red vehicle was quite a bit faster than the semi ahead.  As I closed the gap to the red vehicle, I continued to monitor it carefully, expecting it to move over into the left lane ahead and prepared to slow down to allow it to change lanes.

It never did.

Finally, by the time we neared the semi, I became convinced that the red vehicle was waiting for me to pass it and then it would follow me past the semi.  I accelerated slightly by two or three miles per hour to try to get past a bit quicker.  Suddenly, the red vehicle turned on its left signal and made a slight move left.  I let off the accelerator to go for the brake, but at that moment the red vehicle seemed to cease moving left and slow, seemingly deciding (or deciding again) to let me past.  I proceeded to pass him.  By this point my front bumper was roughly even with the red vehicle’s rear wheels.

Suddenly, the red vehicle moved rapidly into the left lane.  Not just sufficiently to avoid the semi — it moved completely into the left lane clear to the left hand side.  I quickly veered to my left to avoid contact.  In order to avoid hitting the red vehicle, I had to drive completely off the freeway altogether.

At 80 mph.  In a sports car with maybe four to six inches of ground clearance.

My primary thought at this point was to regain control of the vehicle by gradually slowing down and avoiding any major corrections.  The first obstacle was one of those three-foot-high aluminum posts with a reflector on top.  I was about 95% successful at missing this post, clipping it with the outside front right corner.  Next I realized that we were careening through the median toward the northbound lanes, which median sloped sideways at perhaps a 10%-12% grade.  I carefully brought the vehicle back to the right, smashing through one sagebrush plant after another, and somehow avoided rolling the vehicle over and brought it back onto the left southbound shoulder at maybe half of my original speed.  I slowed the vehicle to a stop and got out to survey the damage.

The first thing I noticed when I got out was a red four-door sedan continuing along the freeway southbound.  It did not turn around or stop.  I never saw it again.

I walked around the car slowly, looking for broken bits.  Mostly I saw tires and wheels full of dust and leaves and weed seeds.  I came around to the front right corner and saw where my 350Z and the reflector post had become acquainted.

The reflector pole does not play nice.

As you can see, the corner of the bumper had broken completely off.  You can clearly see where the post hit and caved in the fender.  That whitish container there is the windshield wiper fluid container; it is completely ruined.  The headlight is cracked and there is other damage, possibly more hidden damage.  I kicked the air in disgust, then briefly clasped my head in my hands and bent down a bit to catch my breath.  I could feel the adrenaline coursing through my veins as I tried to calm myself down.

When I looked up I saw that a pickup truck had pulled up behind me.  The driver hopped out and ran up to help.

“Are you alright?” he asked.

“Yeah.  I think so,” I replied.  ”I’ve got some damage on the front of my car.”

“You aren’t hurt?”

“No, I’m okay.”

“Anyone in your car with you?”

“Yeah, my son.”

“Is he alright?”

“Uh, I don’t know.”  Yeah, I’m a great father.  I’m glad someone was there to remind me.  I checked with my son, who was pretty shaken up but otherwise unhurt.

The truck driver then said, “Man, that was some amazing driving.  That red car just completely ran you right off the road.  I saw the whole thing.  I was SURE you were gonna roll that thing.  You must be one hell of a driver to have saved that one.”

I looked back on the 100 yards or so we’d traveled off road.  I’m not sure how we kept from rolling it either.

He offered to call the local dispatch in Beaver.  He handed me his cell phone, at which point I described the red vehicle to the dispatch officer.  He confirmed that they would send officers out to look (in vain, as it turned out) for the red vehicle.  Meanwhile, a county Sheriff was sent to us to monitor the situation, and later a Highway Patrolman showed up to take a statement.

I let the Z run while we waited for the police, while I wrote out my statement, while we waited to see if anyone found and stopped the red vehicle.  I continually was monitoring my son’s mental state (I probably asked him “Are you alright?” so many times he was about to hit me) as well as the state of the car.  I was particularly looking for things like overheating (indicating a coolant leak) or an oil pressure drop (indicating an oil leak) as well as looking specifically for leaking fluids, smoke, or other problems, and listening for weird, atypical sounds.  Amazingly the Z seemed to be running completely normal.  Aside from a warning light on my dashboard indicating that I had no washer fluid, there were no indications from inside the car that anything abnormal happened.

Once things were wrapped up, I asked the Highway Patrolman to follow us into Beaver, which he agreed to.  I carefully pulled onto the freeway, listening to the sounds of the engine, checking to see how the steering and handling felt.  Other than a strange vibrating noise underneath the car, everything seemed perfectly normal.

We pulled off the freeway in Beaver, waved at the Highway Patrolman as he continued down the freeway, and pulled into a parking stall at truck stop to do a more thorough check.  Most worrisome was the vibration under the car.  After stopping, I was very relieved to see a large sagebrush branch stuck to the underside of the car.  We removed the branch and drove over to the gas pump.  No vibration.  What a relief.

After filling with gas, I decided to check the air pressure of the tires.  The front right tire, most directly impacted by the post, seemed low.  I drove to a tire shop next door who offered to check the tire for leaks.  Despite the low pressure, no leaks were found.  Derrick and I decided to get a bite to eat at a nearby Wendy’s and check the air pressure again after eating to see if the pressure maintained.

I ate, sort of.  Wasn’t exactly in the mood.  Derrick, on the other hand, devoured everything in front of him while I picked at my sandwich and fries.  Finally we threw my food away and, after verifying that the tire pressure had maintained correctly, we climbed into the car.

But before leaving, we prayed.  We thanked our Heavenly Father that we had survived the incident and that we were not hurt.  We thanked Him that I had been able to safely bring the vehicle to a stop and that we’d avoided a major accident.  We thanked Him that the vehicle was relatively unharmed and seemed to be functioning properly.  We thanked Him for people who stopped to help us.  We asked Him to help me to calm down and relax as we proceeded along on our journey.  We asked Him that the car might function properly and get us where we were headed safely.

What a relief to report that we continued on to St. George without incident, and last night we returned back to Spanish Fork safely.  I fully expect that there is some hidden damage, but I was very surprised, relieved, and honestly a bit proud that my Z had carried us home.

We pulled into the garage and I turned the car off.  ”Good girl,” I said to my Z as I patted the center console, and then gently kissed the steering wheel.  Say what you will.  I love that car.

As far as the red car is concerned, I admit initially I was quite angry.  Initially I wondered what was wrong with someone to just run me right off the road like that.  Now, however, I’m willing to give the benefit of doubt.  Is it possible that the driver of the red car did not know we were there?  Is it possible that the red car didn’t stop because the driver simply did not know what had happened?  Yes, it is possible.  I’d rather think it was negligent, not malicious.

From our point of view, we are grateful today that we survived it, and not just survived but escaped relatively unharmed.  Neither Derrick nor I were hurt in any way.  We are grateful for a good man who stopped to help, who may feel that he really accomplished nothing, but in fact helped me calm down and think, which was crucially important.  We are grateful that somehow the car was able to continue on without trouble.  And while I’m fully aware that the 350Z is not an off-road vehicle, and while I’m very happy to accept glowing and raving compliments about my excellent driving ability, I can tell you one thing right now without hesitation:  If we’d been in my red truck, we would have rolled it down the slope in the median toward the northbound lane, and we almost surely would have been severely injured or killed.

In which case, you wouldn’t have heard this story.  So you should be grateful too.

World Superbike USA weekend is nearly here and I can hardly wait.  (Since I can barely concentrate I figure I may as well blog about it.)  Derrick and I will be in attendance.  This year we’re sitting in the Paddock Grandstand at Miller Motorsports Park, which should be a very interesting and awesome change from where we have always been up to this year, down by the Tooele turn.

By the way, there is still time for you to get here, if you hurry.

Anyway, the last couple of years Derrick hasn’t been up for autograph hunting.  But since we’re going multiple days this year maybe I can talk him into it.  Here’s some of the autographs I’d like to collect:

• Sterilgarda Yamaha’s James Toseland, two-time World Superbike Champion
• Alitalia Aprilia’s Max Biaggi, former 250cc World Champion
• BMW Motorrad Motorsport’s Troy Corser, former Australian and AMA Superbike Champion
• Xerox Ducati’s Michel Fabrizio
• Alstare Suzuki’s Leon Haslam

As long as I’m dreaming, we might as well throw in Troy Bayliss (three-time World Superbike Champion), Nicky Hayden (former AMA Superbike and MotoGP Champion), and Ben Spies (three-time AMA Superbike and current World Superbike Champion).  Maybe they’ll be there, you know, to visit, and meet me and all that.

Forecast is for rain on Saturday, which should make practice a bit difficult, but it looks like Sunday and Monday will be great days.  Can’t think of anything more awesome to do on Memorial Day than watch World Superbike racing, and also think of my grandma who passed away a few years ago, and hates racing.

This announcement for the 2010 World Superbike USA weekend, to be formal, sounds freaking awesome.  Part of the announcement describes a concert that is included with the ticket price, featuring Foreigner, Styx, Kansas, and “a possible surprise addition to be named later.”

So obviously there will definitely be another band that is even more awesome than those three, as hard as that is to believe.

Derrick and I already have our weekend tickets, so now we are speculating who the fourth band will be.  The key traits for selection are:

• Awesomeness
• I like them
• I want them to come
• Pure awesomeness

Here are the top five obvious and likely candidates:

• Def Leppard — Def Leppard has toured with Styx and Foreigner within the past few years so they are a strong candidate to come again.  And they are awesome.
• Journey — Journey has also toured with Styx, in particular, in the past.  Plus they are awesome.
• Rush — Rush, pretty much the only good Canadian export, got snubbed by Canada when they didn’t get invited to perform at the Olympics.  Also, awesome.
• Van Halen — I haven’t seen Van Halen since 2007.  And even back then they didn’t come to Utah.  They probably feel bad about this and so are planning to come for World Superbike.  And awesome.
• Pink Floyd — The most likely candidate, both due to awesomeness and due to not having performed for like 15 years.  Also, they are from Europe which means that, unlike you, they’ve actually heard of World Superbike.

It’s unlikely that all five of these bands will come, but hey, you never know.

Last week we went racing go-karts for work, because, you know, go-kart racing is what makes great software teams great.

We went to FastKarts in Salt Lake City.  Well, West Valley, actually.  When we got there, we sprinted inside the building as fast as possible, because we were in West Valley and didn’t want to get mugged, or killed in a drive-by shooting, or something.  Once we got inside, there it was, hanging from the ceiling:  A sweet 250cc liquid-cooled race-ready shifter kart.  Something that looked like this.  I couldn’t wait to get in.

Race-ready shifter kart. Image courtesy autoblog.com.

Oddly, this was not the kind of kart we were allowed to drive.  Instead, we were allowed to race some little 5 hp jobs.  They’ll do maybe 40 mph if you have enough of a run, but they aren’t exactly fast.

Still, it was a dang good time.  More than that, in fact.  I have wanted to race go-karts for years, so this was literally a dream come true for me.

Some of the rules that I got a kick out of:

• No Bumping. Surely you cannot expect 15 people to hop into a racing kart, even a 5 hp racing kart, for the first time, tell them to race each other, and not have anyone bump into anyone else.  I tried really hard not to hit people, but sometimes I just could not help it.
• Watch for the caution lights. When I am racing down the straightaway trying to outbrake someone into the corner, the last thing on my mind is to look to see if the caution lights are flashing.

Watching the enforcement of these rules was an interesting study in human behavior.  Here you have a bunch of skilled professionals from Microsoft reserving the kart racing facility for 90 minutes.  Running the facility are, um, people with perhaps less education, shall I say.  They sure seemed to enjoy the power trip every time someone would break the rules and they had an opportunity to really yell at the highly skilled white-collar professionals and put us in our place.  Surely they don’t realize how transparent this is.

Despite this it was great fun.  In my first race, I started somewhere around tenth or twelfth.  I got a good jump on everyone when the green flag waved, though, and I passed two cars before the first turn.  By the end of the 20 minute race I had passed all but two people.

Obviously, my excellent racing skill that was manifesting itself was due to countless hours of playing Project Gotham and Forza Motorsport, as well as years and years of detailed study of racing events both live and televised.  I did not have the fastest time, but obviously that was because I was coming through traffic the entire race.

Obviously.

So when it came to my second race, I didn’t worry much about getting the same kart.  They are all pretty much the same anyway.  For some reason, nobody wanted to be in the first kart, so I took that one.  Trying to lap the field would prove to be a good challenge.

At the start I totally set everyone up by bunching them up at the final corner, then speeding away to take the green flag with a clear lead.  This lasted about 1 lap, when people started passing me.

I was simply not going as fast as before.  There wasn’t much I could do about it.  I spent the rest of the race working on my lines, trying to carry more speed through corners and working on higher exit speeds.  This was great fun, but there wasn’t much I could do to keep people from passing.  I ended up about fifth or so.

When I got out of the kart, they showed the fastest lap times.  My lap times were about 2 seconds per lap slower than they had been before.

Obviously, my prior stellar performance pretty much had everything to do with the kart and nothing to do with me.

Still, it was great, fantastic fun.  My arms pumped up, and my mouth was dry from improper mouth-breathing, and I had bruises on my shoulders and ribs where the four-point harness had pulled because I cinched it so tight.

And I haven’t been able to stop thinking of it since.

See, I have this dream of my life as a young, retired multi-millionaire.  In this dream I have a nice sized chunk of land.  And on that land is a well-maintained, awesome shifter kart track.  And next to that track is a little shop where I build and tune shifter karts, just because I can.

And since we went racing for work, this dream has made a major resurgence into my consciousness.  Someday…

Like you, I also am really stressed out and concerned about USF1.

Here we are, one month away from the first Grand Prix of the year in Bahrain.  It should be a really awesome season, with four new teams and Michael Schumacher back on the grid.  And I’ve been waiting for the past two years for this year because of the announced USF1 team.

But I’m worried now.  Worried, because we’re only a month away from the season opener, and USF1 still only has one driver.  The only other team in this position is Campos F1; everyone else has both drivers in place.  And seemingly every other team has unveiled their 2010 car, but USF1 has not.

It makes me wonder if they are having trouble finding sponsors.  This should not be a problem.  I can think of some great American companies with a global presence that could be great sponsors.  My employer, Microsoft, immediately comes to mind (Steve, that’s your cue).  But hey, if not Microsoft, what about Google?  Or Budweiser?  Or Wells Fargo?  Or Novell?

Haha!  Just kinda got carried away there!

Anyway, having provided an obviously excellent solution to the financial problem (Microsoft), I’ll now suggest a solution to the driver problem:

Me.

I volunteer.  I will do it.

In fact, USF1, give me the job and I’ll drop everything and be in Charlotte within 24 hours.  I’d happily take a one-year contract for, say $1M.  This is probably a lot less than you would have to pay anyone else.  I have lots of driving experience; for example, I drive to work and back every day.  And I also have played lots of racing games, like Need For Speed and Project Gotham.

Don’t thank me.  This is what I’m good at:  solving problems.  Just say the word and consider it done.

In 1972 the Miami Dolphins completed the only perfect season in the history of the NFL, going a perfect 17-0 and winning Super Bowl VII.  Undefeated seasons are fairly common in college football, and in fact is generally required for any chance at playing for the national title.  But in the NFL it is a different story.  Nobody else has ever done it before or since.

The Hall of Fame quarterback that led that famous team, Bob Griese, went on to become one of the best color commentators in college football.  Yet he now risks being remembered more for the remark he made on October 24, 2009, when a list of the current NASCAR top five drivers was displayed on screen.  Regarding the fact that driver Juan Pablo Montoya’s name was not shown, as explanation Griese quipped, “He’s out having a taco.”

Griese certainly did not consider his words before he said them.  He apologized during the game and later that day.  He was given a one-game suspension by ESPN for it, but I have to wonder if the real punishment is yet to come.

This whole thing has been bothering me ever since it happened, because frankly, I think it’s way past time for people to lighten up a little bit.

Before you cinch the noose around my neck, let me say a couple of things first.  I have many great friends of varied ethnic, cultural, and national backgrounds that I’ve made over the course of my life who I cherish and value, not only for the perspective they provide which broadens my own perspective, but for the numerous ways in which we are the same, as well as the ways in which we are different.  I have been greatly enriched by having the opportunity throughout my career to benefit from diversity in the places where I’ve worked — I value that experience tremendously.  And, believe it or not, I come from a background that’s endured its own share of discriminatory treatment.  More on that later.

Because of those valued relationships, even more than what people might think of me in general, I’ve been measured in blogging about this.  But I’ve got to tell you:  I think we’re taking this whole discrimination thing way too far.  I think the pendulum has swung too far the other way.

First off, I’ll state that, in my opinion, Mr. Griese should not have said what he said.  He knows it.  He knew it right after he said it.  ESPN also thinks he should not have said it, and I agree with them.

Now that we’ve established that, I’d like to figure out exactly why what he said is considered offensive.

• Eating — I’m pretty sure this isn’t it.  Every person eats.
• Eating A Taco — As far as I can tell, the act of eating a taco itself isn’t offensive, nor would it be offensive to suggest that a person might eat a taco.  I have eaten a taco.  More than one, in fact.  I’m not ashamed of it.  If you were to tell someone who does not read my blog that I have eaten a taco before, not only will I not be offended, but the other person will wonder why this is a big deal.  So I can only assume that it is not the suggestion of eating a taco itself that was offensive.
• Implying That Juan Pablo Montoya Is Hispanic — Whether Griese meant to imply that Juan Pablo Montoya was Hispanic is hard to say.  However, Juan Pablo Montoya IS Hispanic.  Columbian, in fact.  There’s nothing wrong with being Hispanic, or Columbian.  So implying that a Hispanic person is Hispanic shouldn’t be a problem.
• Implying That Juan Pablo Montoya Is Mexican — I honestly don’t know whether tacos are really Mexican or not.  I’m told they are.  But the tacos we eat here aren’t necessarily authentic anyway.  Regardless, there’s nothing wrong with being from Mexico; after all, Sammy Hagar lives there, at least some of the time.  And we already established that Montoya is from Columbia anyway, not Mexico.  I don’t see a problem here.
• Implying That Juan Pablo Montoya Eats Tacos — I don’t know whether Montoya eats tacos or not.  We already established that it is not offensive to say that I eat tacos.  Why would it be offensive to suggest that Montoya eats tacos?  There’s nothing wrong with eating tacos.
• Implying That Juan Pablo Montoya Eats Tacos Because He Is Hispanic — Well, now I think we may be getting somewhere, although I have to wonder why this matters.  Being Hispanic is not offensive.  Eating tacos is not offensive.  Is it offensive to suggest that Hispanic people eat tacos?  Can someone explain why this is?

On the day that Griese made this comment, NASCAR driver Ryan Newman was also not shown on the screen.  What if they had instead asked where Ryan Newman was instead of Montoya?  What if Griese had commented about Newman, “He’s out eating a hamburger.”  Certainly that would be equally offensive, right?

Or what if Griese had said the exact same thing — “He’s out eating a taco” — about Ryan Newman instead?  Would that also be offensive?

If it is not offensive when it is said about a Caucasian from the United States, why is it offensive when it is said about a Hispanic from Columbia?  I thought this whole thing was about treating all people as equals.  How is this treating people as equals?  Isn’t it wrong to treat people differently because of their differences, regardless of how we treat them?

This is society’s problem, not Montoya’s or Griese’s.  In our society, we’ve done a great job of identifying the people who have been discriminated against.  They are in protected classes.  Those are the people who have been discriminated against.  If you, like me, are not in a protected class, then it is not possible that others would discriminate against you.  In fact, according to society, I can only be the instigator of discrimination, not the victim, because I’m not in a protected class.

The problem here is, according to the popular interpretation, discriminatory treatment now has nothing to do with treating people equally and fairly.  It has to do with treating protected classes preferentially.  Ironically, we fail to realize that by treating others preferentially, we draw attention to the fact that there is a difference.  Treating them preferentially portrays the implication that they are uncapable of handling life the way the non-protected-class people face life, which is most certainly not true.  The reality is that we are equals.  Creating different sets of rules for different groups of people in society is exacerbating the problems and not solving anything.

Back in the middle of the 19th century, there was another group of people in the United States that were generally discriminated against by many in the general public.  Members of this group were publicly ridiculed; many others in society shunned and ostracized them, even members of their own families; much of the general public would refuse to live near them or patronize their businesses.  Prominent members were frequently subject to the wrath of mobs and riots, and even had property destroyed, and many were tortured publicly and even wrongly imprisoned.  Members of this group were so persecuted that many were forced to abandon homes and property numerous times as they moved again and again attempting to find a place where they could live peaceably.  Conditions escalated to the point that laws were changed in places such that it was not considered a crime to murder a member of this group in cold blood.  This group repeatedly appealed to local and federal government for protection but were flatly and openly denied.  Many members of this group, including a number of leaders, were killed.  Our government did nothing to stop this.  Eventually members of this group had to leave the country and flee to a barren wasteland in order to be left alone.

This group was not different because of their ethnicity or national background.  This group of people were known as Mormons.  Religion was the difference between them and those who discriminated against them so strongly.  Because of their religion, which is the first freedom guaranteed us by the US Constitution, they were discriminated against, while the very government that should have guaranteed their freedom turned a blind eye or even in some cases participated in the discrimination, to the point that they had to leave the very country that should have guaranteed their rights in order to have any semblance of peace.

These are my ancestors.  Even today, people have no issues at all saying derogatory things about members of my faith.  They will make jokes about how many wives I have (1) or how many horns come out of my head (0) or whether I am allowed to drive a car or use electricity (yes to both).  I find it ironic that a comedian or talk-show host can make fun of my religion in a public forum wherein he will knowingly make statements he either doesn’t understand or knows full well are untrue, and yet someone like Bob Griese can inadvertently and completely by accident say something as apparently benign as “He’s out having a taco” and have the whole world ready to string him up in a tree for being so racist and discriminatory.

I’m fully aware of the history of my ancestors.  I’ve mentioned some of it here.  It is a bit disturbing to know that this happened here in the United States, just some 150 years ago or so.  But I’ve gotten over it, and so have the members of my faith.  We aren’t on a crusade to have society make right to us all the wrongs that their ancestors did to ours.  We’re not lobbying for our group to receive a special protected class status.  And honestly, when people make fun of Mormons eating funeral potatoes or lime jello with shredded carrots inside, we laugh along with them.  Even though I love funeral potatoes and avoid lime jello with shredded carrots like the disgusting fodder it is, it doesn’t bother me that people would joke about me eating either one.

In other words, I would not be offended if people claimed I ate food stereotypical of Mormons, whether I actually eat it or not.

It seems to me like we need to just relax a little bit, and choose not to be offended.  I’ve found my life is a lot happier when I do that.  How might society be if we all did this?  Seems like that is something worth pursuing.

This week Yamaha announced a scale-back of their factory racing efforts in North America, specifically, for AMA Supercross, AMA Motocross, and AMA Road Racing.  Yamaha partners, or “satellite teams” in racing vernacular, will carry forward Yamaha’s racing efforts in these areas.

For AMA Supercross and AMA Motocross, L&M Racing will carry the Yamaha torch along with other satellite teams (think Mach3 or Yamaha of Troy or the like).  This makes sense; Yamaha’s factory team this year was a bust, whilst James Stewart for L&M won the 450 Supercross title.  Satellite teams with factory support have proven to be extremely competitive in these series and in fact have won quite their fair share of titles.

Not so in AMA Road Racing.  Satellite teams in AMA may have varying degrees of success, but the factory teams have historically pretty much ruled the roost in AMA Superbike, for example.

Last year, when it was announced by the AMA that the Daytona Motorsports Group was going to destroy AMA road racing once and for all, Honda followed with an announcement of their own, stating a new plan wherein Honda would no longer have a factory team, but instead would let the satellite team Corona Honda carry the Honda torch.

Gee, this sounds an awful lot like Yamaha’s announcement this week that Graves Yamaha will be the primary Yamaha road racing team in North America.  In fact, you could almost accomplish this press release with a little bit of simple find-and-replace word substitution (Honda->Yamaha, Corona->Graves).

Where does this lead?  Well, in Honda’s case, one year later they announced that they were pulling out of AMA Road Racing indefinitely, because the DMG has screwed up AMA Road Racing so badly.  Of course, this is my interpretation; here’s exactly what Honda said:  “Regrettably the current AMA/DMG racing environment does not align with our company goals.”

In other words, “NASBike is not really what we had in mind.”

It isn’t like Honda doesn’t know how to win in road racing.  It was just a few years ago that Nicky Hayden won the MotoGP title for Repsol Honda, and a handful of AMA titles before that.  Even more recently, James Toseland took the World Superbike title for Ten Kate Honda.  When they pulled out, Honda was very competitive in AMA Road Racing also.  This isn’t Kawasaki we’re talking about here.

The move to from full factory effort to pure satellite support was prompted by DMG’s promise to ruin AMA Road Racing.  After a one-year trial, that immediately led to them pulling out of AMA Road Racing altogether.  It is important to note that they are still fully involved in World Superbike and MotoGP.  It isn’t that they don’t believe in road racing; they don’t believe in NASBike.

Now it appears Yamaha is on a similar path.  Eerily similar, in fact.  Their AMA effort was beyond competitive — some might say “dominant” — toward the end of the season this year.  And of course, Yamaha took the World Superbike, World Supersport, and MotoGP titles this year.  Yet they are pulling back in almost the exact same way Honda did last year.

Fast forward one year, and I will be completely not surprised to hear that Yamaha, too, is pulling out of AMA Road Racing.  In fact, I’ll be surprised if it takes that long.

So, with Honda gone, Yamaha on their way out, who is left?  Not Buell, the American make that the whole messed up class structure was presumably created for, since Harley-Davidson has announced the discontinuation of that make.  Ducati, incredibly strong in both World Superbike and MotoGP, has hardly any presence in AMA Road Racing.  And now that Mat Mladin has retired, you have to wonder how much longer NASBike can last.

Will DMG finally realize their stupidity and repent of their grievous sin?  Or are they too proud to change, and instead they will continue to drive AMA Road Racing into oblivion?  Perhaps I should have more faith, but I’m a realist, not an optimist.  If I were you, I wouldn’t buy my tickets too far in advance, if you buy them at all.

Ooh, that title has a nice sound to it.

Ben Spies Tipping It In. Image Source: www.superstreetbike.com

Yesterday in Portimão, the last stop on the 2009 World Superbike tour, Yamaha’s Ben Spies came from ten points behind to clinch the 2009 World Superbike title from the clutches of Ducati’s Noriyuki Haga.  I had to skip recording the afternoon NFL game just so I could get the World Superbike broadcasts right away.  I had to skip the Sunday evening sports get-together with the neighborhood buddies in order to watch the races instead.  And I must admit I cheered, jumped right out of my chair and clapped vigorously when Haga low-sided in Race 1.

You could say that it pleases me that he won.

In his rookie season, Spies took a record 11 poles, including a record seven in a row, and 14 wins.  I was at Miller Motorsports Park last May when he broke the record for consecutive pole positions.  It was dang awesome to be there, at the only American stop in the World Superbike tour, cheering on the only American in World Superbike.

It’s something we miss here in America.  Sure, there’s some American things that are fine, like college football, and some that are just flat-out lame, like NASCAR.  Regardless, we get so wrapped up in our own little world here that we miss out on the really great things going on in the rest of the world.  It’s too bad we are so lame like that.

I have bittersweet feelings about Ben moving on to MotoGP.  I think he could be a dominant force in World Superbike for many seasons to come if he would stay.  At the same time, MotoGP is the pinnacle of motorcycle road racing, and he definitely deserves this opportunity to take a shot at the very best the world has to offer.  Tech3 Yamaha is not exactly a factory MotoGP team, but it is probably the best satellite team in MotoGP.  Hopefully this is just the beginning.

Once upon a time, there was a nice young man named AMA Superbike.  He really looked up to his big brother, named World.  In fact, AMA really wanted to grow up to be just like World.  So he tried to emulate his big brother in every way.

His big brother had some great friends, with names like Honda, Suzuki, Yamaha, and Kawasaki.  AMA also made friends with these people.

World was really into motorcycle racing.  AMA was really into motorcycle racing too.

World Superbike worked with his friends Honda, Suzuki, Yamaha, and Kawasaki to create a racing series based on 600cc and 1000cc production sport bikes.  This helped his friends to produce more powerful, better handling, higher quality motorcycles for their customers.  And it helped World create a great racing series that racing fans not only loved but could identify with, because they knew they could go out and buy bikes almost just like those to ride themselves.  When AMA saw how great the World Superbike racing series was, AMA worked with those same friends to create a racing series too.  The AMA Superbike racing series was great also.

Everything was great.  World Superbike had a great racing series, and so did AMA Superbike.  World Superbike had millions of great fans, and so did AMA Superbike; in fact, they shared many of the same fans.  World Superbike had many great riders, and so did AMA Superbike; in fact, some riders used to move from one series to the other.

Then, one day on his way home from school, AMA met a very bad person named DMG.

At first, he tried not to be friends with DMG.  After all, he knew DMG’s reputation.  He knew that DMG was responsible for turning NASCAR stock car racing, which used to race cars that were actually based on stock cars, into such a pathetic form of racing that it was the laughing stock of the auto racing world.

But DMG was persistent and persuasive.  DMG kept telling AMA that it wouldn’t hurt to be friends.  DMG kept saying how many fans NASCAR had, and conveniently avoided the fact that most NASCAR fans are drunk redneck alcoholics that don’t even pay attention to the race.  DMG kept saying how many racers NASCAR had, and conveniently avoided the fact that none of them really had that much racing talent.

AMA knew he should not be friends with DMG.  But despite knowing better, he gave into temptation.  He started hanging out with DMG even though he knew he shouldn’t.

World said he should not do this.  ”Don’t be fooled by DMG,” said World.  ”He doesn’t know anything about racing — especially motorcycle racing.  He will ruin your life!”

Suddenly, AMA reacted in a way he never had before.  ”You are not the boss of me!” he shouted.  ”You can’t tell me what to do!  I can do whatever I want!”

AMA stormed out of the house.  With nowhere to go, he went over to DMG’s house.  ”Wow, World must not be that good of a friend to treat you that way,” said DMG sympathetically.  ”I would never treat you that way.”

“What should I do?” asked AMA.  ”I don’t understand why World doesn’t want us to be friends.”

DMG replied, “He just doesn’t appreciate you.  You’re better than him!  Trust me.  You don’t need that dumb old World Superbike!  I’ll show you how to make a really great racing series!”

Unfortunately, AMA listened to DMG.  He changed his entire racing series from a proven successful formula to something most of his former fans now refer to as NASBike.  He turned his back on his friends like Honda, Suzuki, Yamaha, and Kawasaki.  In fact, once he moved away from World Superbike and started hanging out with DMG, Honda said that he could not be friends with AMA anymore.  AMA’s three-time champion left to race for World instead, and AMA’s former seven-time champion said he wouldn’t race anymore if AMA didn’t quit being friends with DMG.  A year later, he retired for good.

Despite all of this, AMA wouldn’t stay away from DMG.  Before, AMA looked up to World and wanted to be like him; now, for some reason AMA thought he was better than World, and felt for some reason like this was important.  So AMA wouldn’t race at the best tracks if World was also there at the same time.  AMA would sometimes wait a month or more to show television coverage of their races.  And the new race format was so confusing and ridiculous that nobody could understand it.

Before too long, everyone who used to be friends with AMA forgot about him.  Everyone except DMG.  Everyone else forgot about him, because he forgot about all of them.  They all just became friends with World instead, and forgot that AMA was even there anymore.

And that was how AMA went from being awesome to nothing in just one year.  And he lived miserably ever after.  The End.

Moral

The moral of this story is:  DMG bites.

Update:

I sent a link to this post to the AMA with the following message:

To Whom It May Concern:

Thought you might be interested to read my latest blog post on AMA Pro Road Racing (http://blog.mvryan.org/2009/10/the-sad-tale-of-ama-superbike-a-bedtime-fable/), which was written not so much as a bash session, but more as an interesting retrospective.
I learned one very interesting thing about myself writing it.  I’ve lived in Utah for over 9 years.  I’ve attended every single AMA Supercross in Salt Lake, as well as others nearby.  I’ve attended every AMA and World Superbike event at Miller Motorsports Park since the track opened.  I watch every AMA Supercross, AMA Motocross, World Superbike, MotoGP, and Formula One race on TV.  You could say I’m a racing fan.
I also used to watch every AMA road racing event on TV.  That is, up until this year.  I watched the first event, but when I couldn’t make any sense of the classes, had to wait for (sometimes several) weeks to watch the events on TV, and when you refused to come to Miller’s this year, I completely lost interest.
That’s what I found interesting:  Between you and DMG, you messed it up so much, in fact, that I, a true racing fan, completely forgot the series was even going on.  Note, I did not actively choose to boycott in protest of the changes.  The changes you made had the effect of causing me to lose interest.  I don’t care about the series anymore – it is as uninteresting to me as a club racing series in another part of the country.
So there’s some feedback for you.  If your intent was to gain fans, well, it seems what you did was exactly the opposite.

I’ll let you know if I hear from them.

Today Ferrari, or someone, announced that Fernando Alonso will be replacing Kimi Raikkonen at Ferrari next year.

Rumors about Alonso and Ferrari have been circulating for a few years now.  Always the question in my mind has been which Ferrari driver to replace with Alonso.  Massa very nearly won the world title last year, and Raikkonen won it the year before in improbable fashion.  When you have two drivers capable of winning the world title, how do you improve on that?

Well, I guess you improve by replacing one with another driver who is a multiple world champion in what was probably an inferior car.  I’ve just recently gotten to where I can stand and even kind of like Alonso again.  A year or two ago, the thought of him driving for Ferrari was too much to take, almost like Ricky Carmichael riding for Suzuki.  But RC became more likable about the time he switched to Suzuki; maybe Alonso will be the same.  I just hope all the winning doesn’t go to his head too much.

The decision to replace Kimi is a bit odd.  I guess if I were replacing one or the other of the two, I’d have to choose Kimi over Felipe because it just seems so hard to keep Kimi motivated.  Felipe seems like he’s always willing to try.  But in terms of raw talent, I think Kimi has the edge.  Felipe always seems to rock when he qualifies well, but it doesn’t seem like he knows how to pass people very well.  And with Felipe’s recent head injury — well, you add all that up, and it seems a bit risky to let Kimi go and keep Felipe.

So, where will Kimi end up?  That’s the question I suppose.  I wonder who could afford him.  USF1, perhaps?